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Still Life

by Benji Heinke

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1.
Citrus streets, I’ve always known This deal was done a long time ago Vivid interruptions break the atmosphere I’ve had enough of listening to what I don’t want to hear I vividly remember this routine I’ve seen before Vividly remember I recall Electric blue neon lights It’s all I want, an electric night These vivid interruptions break the atmosphere I’ve had enough of listening to what I don’t want to hear
2.
A Portrait 02:41
If you’re running out of time And there’s something on your mind Always wanting so much more Is your life really such a bore? Do you have the courage to say that it never went away? Take or leave it on your own, someone to rely on If you’re coming down again And you can’t stand all your friends You can turn my world to fire Turn your hatred to desire
3.
Rhododendron 02:52
I think about you all the time Am I ever even on your mind? I don’t think that you care Do we even have anything now that we share? I take it back I’ll take it back What I said But I think that you are wrong on this one I dream about you all the time You are always on my fractured mind But I don’t think that you care enough To see just who I am
4.
Absent Mind 03:35
Thinking about past mistakes And mumbling to myself again Four horsemen couldn’t drag me Any further in I don’t mean to be so absent I’m just in a daze (Just in a daze) I don’t mean to be vacant But I can’t get away I don’t mean to be so absent I’m just in a daze (Just in a daze) I don’t mean to be vacant But I can’t get away from this A revelation came to me at night It proceeded to state Please trust in your memories Before it gets too late
5.
Breathing in barbed wire Tastes like burning, feels like fire We start out early, end up late Act so wild with no restraint Drinking to the evening sun As the night goes on We know the moon will come Don’t let this all end Don’t let this night end Iridescent talking As we end up walking To a brand-new destination Same old fire, new location Telling such great stories But I’ve heard it all before Even though I’m so familiar This could never bore me
6.
Am I ever gonna find another way? Looking in the mirror Listening to your old records once again Cut my hair back Put my old jeans on Never gonna be the same again Or is this just the way that I am? As I walk down the hall of mirrors Reflectors charging, left and right No amount of hope can hold them back Never gonna be the same again Or is this just the way that I am?
7.
I always knew I spoke too soon That this really wasn’t through You needed so much more You wanted things like they were before In a way, this always was so true A thousand words return to you I watch you falling back I hate this constant sense of relapse Draining me down Ultramarine The worst thing that I’ve ever seen A fractured, failing scream Silent alarm A different kind of memory I always knew I spoke too soon In denial that this was true I need so much more I need it to not be like it was before
8.
Sunflower 02:48
If you go your own way I will paint the town red and blue If you decide to stay I will paint it your way Any colour you choose Any colour you choose I will do what you want me to do Any colour you choose Any colour you choose Because I just want you A sunflower in your room Left to decay from bloom A sunflower in your room While I’m drunk again and blue Over you Over you

credits

released August 26, 2022

All songs written, recorded, produced and mastered
at home in Southampton by Benji Heinke
July – August 2022

Originally released 26th August 2022

Art, design and back cover photo by Benji Heinke

Creative consultancy by Mia Delve

Published by Copyright Control / Benji Heinke (PRS for Music)

© & ℗ 2022 Hotel Soap Recordings
HSR-002

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