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Benji Heinke

by Benji Heinke

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    BHLP001
    Edition of 334 (+5 TPs)

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1.
Spending our dormant lives Trapped in this slow demise Don’t ask me why Everyone else is in overdrive What can I say? When you just don’t care about me anymore What can I do? Now that you are through with me Is everyone else happily living? Effortlessly interacting Whilst we are busy dying As you just aren’t replying Why won’t you reply to me? Why won’t you reply to me?
2.
Tonight 04:07
Leave me in peace, I’m alright sitting alone With that said, I need somebody of my own Why does it seem like everyone’s moving along? When all I want is someone to make me feel like I belong There are several ways tonight Don’t let it fade away and die Don’t let it waste away before you’ve even tried No, not this time No, not tonight Why can’t I talk to anyone or anyone talk to me? Is there a disease in my brain that always kills a guarantee? Can’t seem to fathom that I could be alright That I could get everything I want here tonight
3.
Detox 03:22
I love spending my days with you But I’ve gotta just refrain I love spending my nights with you But I’ve gotta stop this again I love being just with you But I’ve gotta stop wasting myself away I love being just with you But I think I’m gonna go insane again For a little while I’ll clean up my act I’m coming down Can’t look back It’s so hostile What a way to react In detox style A matter of fact I love spending my days with you But I can’t play stupid games I love spending my nights with you But I don’t want you to feel like you’re to blame I love being just with you But I have to stop wasting myself away I love being just with you But I know I’m gonna go insane again Once in a blue moon Could I resume? It’s all denial That I could live this lifestyle
4.
Venus said to Aphrodite This mindset will be the death of me What can I do about my thoughts? What can I do? It’s not right It’s not alright It’s not right It’s not alright Aphrodite said back to her Let them out, don’t let them stir But what can I do about my pride? What can I do?
5.
All the Time 03:04
I wish I could just repeat the whole truth About this melodrama in our youth Shall I just pretend that everything’s fine? And that we’re always happy all the time I’m so sick and weary of these lies And pretending to be fine all the time Just to always satisfy Then a truth gets denied To present the image We’re alright I wish I could just go and tell the whole world Just exactly how our depiction unfurled How my happiness stems from you But also how you made me paint the town blue
6.
Isn’t it funny how I’m back now in the clear? Russian roulette, recently I’ve played the game of fear Repeating, it’s always gonna repeat in my mind Despite any peace that I later may find I’m caught now in this cycle Sharks and blood, this vicious circle I wish that it could be erased Then I wouldn’t be here In this place In a nightmare, I am sinking down to my knees So real is the fear that I can’t breathe Absolutely, I need this escape my love Though don’t think that you are not enough
7.
I have to think now, block it out Can't seem to stop this or work it out I’m constantly on edge Worried you’re near the end I don’t know where else I would go I’ll put it off until tomorrow I’ve found a new path for me to follow Lie through my teeth, promises are hollow Until tomorrow Don’t you think that I would change this? Don't just tell me to snap out of it
8.
Things have changed I was welcome here yesterday, swept away But not today Things are strange Everything is different these days Oh, those days Is it this town? This haunted house? Or am I just full of doubt? What once were halcyon nights Are now consumed by a poltergeist Is it this town? This haunted house? Or am I just being drowned out? I need to get away from here I'll fade away, I'll disappear We need to move on From this place we still call home, this ghost town We're tied down We could be In some other phantom's lair, somewhere Oh, anywhere
9.
With You 02:27
We were running in parallel Living our own separate lives So hard to mould new routines It's irrelevant now though I'm so happy to be here with you With you With you With you It’s been a tough transition Into a better way of living Some difficult decisions Resulting in positive revisions I don’t want to go back to how it was I would rather just move onwards with you With you

credits

released August 4, 2018

All songs written, recorded, produced and mastered by Benji Heinke at home in Winchester
February – June 2018

Originally released 4th August 2018

Art and design by Benji Heinke

Back cover photo and creative consultancy by Mia Delve

Published by Copyright Control / Benji Heinke (PRS for Music)

© & ℗ 2018 Hotel Soap Recordings
HSR-001

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